Mass Effect: Timing
by HotMezoti
Summary: Garrus and Jane again - I know! There can never be too much about them, right? Lemony content, eventually. SR 1 and 2, this time they figure things out sooner. Completed story. All characters owned by Bioware.
1. Chapter 1

"That was a tough call down there on Virmire," Garrus put his hand on Shepard's shoulder.

She sighed, "I wish there had been another way. If only we'd had enough time to pull around and pick her up."

Garrus nodded. "Maybe she's found some redemption in her sacrifice."

"I think so, not that she needed it, not at all. But – I'm going to make sure the Alliance recognizes her in some way. Captain Kirrahe said something similar." She looked up at Garrus. He squeezed her shoulder and moved away.

"Have you filed your report?"

She nodded.

"Come on, you need to get something to eat."

"I really don't-"

He took her arm, "I'm not going to let you beat yourself up for this and start punishing yourself. This mission just keeps getting more complicated, more stressful."

She reluctantly agreed and followed him to the mess hall. She sat at the table as he got her something to eat. She appreciated his company, his advice, his counsel. She was glad to have him as her best friend.

"Here, I got that sandwich thing you like to eat." He pushed the plate towards her with a drink.

"Grilled cheese?"

"Yea, that one." He had a dextro ration he was opening.

She looked around the mess, the crew was quieter than usual. The ramifications of the last mission not lost on them. It was easy to feel invincible when they were able to rack up the wins, keep closing in on Saren. Reality smacked them all in the face on Virmire, a new respect for the choices and decisions Shepard had to make.

"Everything okay with Wrex now?"

She nodded, "Yea. He apologized, well, in his own way. I understand his position. I don't think he was really going to hurt me."

"I had a close eye on him, just in case." Garrus said lowly.

She smiled, "I know."

Kaidan walked by and sat next to her at the table. "Sorry for what I said back there at the debrief. Adrenaline."

"It's okay. It was tough for all of us." Shepard kept eating.

"I just keep asking, why her? Why not me?"

Shepard tried to keep her frustration in check, "I had to make a decision. I chose you."

Kaidan smiled slightly, then took a drink. "I know, it's just, I don't know."

Garrus spoke up, "This is the reality of the mission. We're lucky we haven't lost more people to be honest."

Shepard agreed.

"Well, it sounds strange, but I feel like I have to say thanks, Commander." Kaidan got up quickly and took his drink with him.

She raised her eyebrows and shook her head. Garrus put his taloned hand over hers across the table, "You did the right thing down there."

"Thanks. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he got to live only because he was arming the bomb."

Garrus chuckled and they finished their meals. "What's our next step, Ilos?"

She stood up and stretched, "No, I've got to get the Salarians back to the Citadel first, then Ilos. I'm heading up to the CIC now to set a course."

"I'll get some calibrating done. Let me know if you need me for anything."

She looked up at him as he stood tall beside her. He often helped her with strategy, perspective on upcoming missions.

"I will, Garrus, thanks." She hesitated for a moment, then left for the stairs.

As she slowly walked up she could still feel the warmth of his hand on hers. She'd been wildly infatuated with him since he first came on board. The closer their friendship became, the more her attraction intensified. She was fanatical about not showing her feelings, not wanting to scare him away. Being the new Commander, she didn't want to push it with the Alliance either. It was getting more difficult, though. Her resolve was starting to fade with the intensity of the mission. Ashley's death had shaken her to the core. There was no guarantee any of them would make it out alive. Would it be so bad if she let him know how she felt?

She waited as the doors opened and walked purposefully up to the map. Joker interrupted her, letting her know the Alliance was mounting a joint-species front against Saren.

"About time! I want to make sure the Normandy is at the front of that attack."

She took Garrus and Wrex with her out on the Citadel. An Alliance officer was standing by the Normandy as they exited. Puzzled, Shepard turned to her.

She stammered, "Sorry Commander, you're locked out of the Normandy systems. Udina's orders." The officer couldn't even match her gaze.

She shot at a stunned look at Garrus, who returned her surprise.

He growled, "Let's go see what this is all about."

An hour later, she was back on the docked Normandy, frustrated with the helplessness of the situation. She paced in her quarters, trying to think of her next move. A ping at the door brought her out of her thoughts.

"Enter."

Garrus came in and sat down at her table. He knew her well enough by now to know that when she was angry the best thing he could do was listen.

"This is an outrage," she seethed.

He nodded.

"How the fuck is Udina going to do anything constructive against Saren?" she flailed her arms as she picked up her pacing, "And for them to completely deny the existence of the Reapers. After all we've done, to ground us here now, I can't, ugh!"

"It's all political bullshit. He's sidelining you to keep himself in the forefront, pandering to the Council and their denial of the Reaper threat."

She sat down across him and put her head in her hands. "I don't know what to do, but I can't sit here and do nothing."

Garrus leaned back in his chair, "If we can override the lockout somehow-"

She pulled her head up, "I've tried a few things in the system, it's controlled from the Citadel mainframe. Even Tali wouldn't be able to hack into it, especially in just a few hours. This is the only ship that can go into the Mu relay undetected. There's no other options."

"I know. We'll have to keep thinking. Maybe if we all meet together and brainstorm we can come up with something."

Shepard brought up her omni-tool, "Good idea,"

Joker's voice on the comm stopped her, " _Sorry to interrupt, Commander, got a message from Captain Anderson. Said to meet him in that club in the wards, Flux_."

She looked at Garrus, wide-eyed, "Looks like we might be able to get somewhere after all. Joker, let him know I'm on my way."

She patted Garrus on the shoulder, "Let's go."

With Anderson's help, they were soon back on the Normandy with the lockout removed.

"Take us out of here Joker, now!" Shepard commanded.

"Aye, aye Commander," he punched in the coordinates for the Mu relay. "ETA 8 hours."

"That long?"

"Yea, it's pretty far out."

She nodded and walked back to her quarters. It was hard taking the Normandy like that, but she knew the Alliance left them no other option. She poured over her computer data looking for any information on the relay, but there was none. Frustrated, she turned it off and sat at her desk with her head in her hands. Suddenly her door opened startling her.

She turned and Kaidan was walking in her quarters. "Hey Shepard. Sorry to interrupt."

She rubbed her eyes, "No, no, it's okay. That's pretty much all I can do to prepare anyway. What's up?"

He walked closer, "It's just, what happens if this all goes south? We've stolen an Alliance warship, mutinied, they could even throw in kidnapping if they wanted to get technical."

"You know Kaidan, we're doing this for the right reasons. I'm not going to wait for approval from a committee while the galaxy is destroyed. I've seen the visions, I've talked to Sovereign. We've got to go after the conduit before Saren finds it." She stood up, talking heatedly.

"Yea, I guess you're right."

Shepard rolled her eyes. "What else Kaidan? I know you didn't come up here to talk strategy or guilt."

He rubbed the back of his neck and turned pink, "I just wanted to say, whatever happens, it's been an honor serving under you."

She softened, "Look, you stopped being just a subordinate a long time ago," she put her hand on his shoulder, "We'll make it, we'll beat him, don't worry."

He reached up for her hand and got closer to her, "With you in command, anything's possible."

She smiled, then suddenly he leaned down and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

She pushed him back, "Kaidan, stop." He let go, looking surprised.

"Damn, this is awkward, I'm sorry but I don't feel that way about you. I mean, I like you, but not like that." She was shocked.

Kaidan was shaking his head, "I, I'm sorry Shepard. I thought – all those times we talked, I got the message you were interested."

She leaned against her desk and looked down. "I know emotions are running high, but this isn't the time for anything like this. We have to focus on the mission." she was mortified he'd done that. She didn't think she'd given him any encouragement. She thought over the past months, trying to piece it together. Maybe because she'd saved him that day instead of Ashley?

Kaidan was contrite, "You're right, I'm way out of line. I, I'm sorry."

She looked up at him, it must be the stress of the mission. She walked over to her cabinet and pulled out some glasses, "Come on, take a seat, let's have a drink."

Relieved, Kaidan sat down at her table and she poured them each a drink. Holding up her glass, she said, "To Ashley."

He clinked his glass to hers, "To Ashley."

They took a drink and Shepard poured them each another one. Kaidan started talking about his BAaT training. He told her about how he became a biotic, what "brain camp" had been like. She listened, fascinated at this side of him she'd not known about before. She continued to drink as he told her about Commander Vyrnnus, how he'd hurt Rahna, and how Kaidan had snapped.

"I hit him with a biotic kick so hard, I snapped his neck."

She took a sip of her drink, "Pretty impressive for a kid."

He looked up at her, "I killed him Shepard. They couldn't get him to an infirmary soon enough. It was a big scandal. Training shut down pretty much after that."

"Wow. That kind of explains a lot about you."

"Really? Like what?"

She pursed her lips, "Like how controlled you are, how you keep things under wraps."

"I suppose. It is hard for me to loosen up."

"After we save the galaxy tomorrow, maybe you can remedy that."

He looked at her intently, "I was actually trying to do that tonight."

She looked down.

"But," he stood up from the table and finished up his drink, "It was not to be. Thanks for the drink Shepard, and for listening. It's late, I'd better let you get some sleep. We have to be ready for anything tomorrow."

"True." She stood up and walked him to her door, a little unsteadily.

He stood in the open doorway and she gave him a hug, "Thanks for coming by."

He embraced her, holding her tightly and feeling her soft long curls down her back in his hands. He still felt the disappointment of not having his feelings returned, reluctantly letting her go. "Get some sleep." He said softly and turned and walked through the mess.

She stood in the open doorway and watched him walk away. She turned and went back into her quarters, thinking over what he'd told her. She shook her head as she picked up her glasses and put them in the disinfector. She was glad they were able to get past his awkward attempt to be intimate. Maybe he was facing his own mortality and decided to throw caution to the wind. She always had a feeling he was a little sweet on her, but just chalked it up to a harmless crush, never thinking he would actually think she was interested in him.

As she got ready for bed, her thoughts drifted to Garrus. After his first week on the Normandy she'd been curious about the potential of being in a relationship with him and looked up human-turian relations on the extranet. It was possible, he'd have to wear protection, but it was definitely doable. She threw her casuals down the laundry chute and slammed it shut. It had been an exercise in frustration, as he never showed any potential interest in her, not in that way. "I guess I know how Kaidan feels," she said ruefully. Maybe she should go down and talk to Garrus, this could be her last night alive too. "Yea, and have the same disastrous results, no way." She finished her routine and went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, they finally arrived at the Mu relay and as they were approaching Shepard did seek Garrus out by the Mako.

"Just double checking the calibrations."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Garrus."

"Thankfully, you'll never have to find out."

"Yeah?" she smiled at him.

He wiped off the tool he was holding. "I'm serious, Jane. You took me on this team, a Turian, and helped me in my quest to get Saren, and with Dr. Saleon. Not many humans would put so much trust, so much loyalty in me. I'm humbled by your faith and your generosity."

"I see you as you, Garrus. Not as a Turian. Our differences work together to become our strengths. You're the most honorable, smart, talented individual I've ever known. I'm proud to call you my best friend. I'd do anything for you."

He reached out and put his hands on her shoulders briefly. "You're amazing." He pulled his hands down. "We can do this today, whatever comes our way, we've got this," he gestured towards his computer screen, "I've got everything calibrated for the Normandy weapons system and the Mako is at optimal. At least for now." He gave her a wry smile.

She put her hand on her hip, "Are you criticizing my driving, Vakarian?"

"I'm just saying you might want to let someone else take the wheel sometimes."

"But I get motion sick when anyone else drives."

He laughed, "How many people have puked after you've been driving? You know we draw straws for the planetary exploration missions?"

"Oh, now you're just making shit up. Right?"

Garrus raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. She smacked his shoulder. "Well, like it or not, you're coming down to Ilos with me."

He got serious, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

She patted him and walked out to the elevator. She wanted to tell him more, but it wasn't the right time. Didn't want to distract him before the mission. To be honest, she didn't want the potential disappointment if he was appalled by her suggestion they move their relationship to something romantic. She sighed heavily and made her way up to the CIC.

Garrus and Liara went on the mission to Ilos. She felt she owed it to Liara to let her see the fabled Prothean ruins. Plus her biotics would be an asset, and she wasn't about to take Kaidan with her. Shepard often admired biotic powers and at times wished she had them. Maybe that's what made Kaidan think she was interested in him. She often asked him about his biotics and his L2 implants. Shepard had put her efforts into being an engineer. She loved the challenge of making things work.

"Shepard, there!" Garrus called out.

Shepard shook out of her musings and took out more geth. The team fought relentlessly, working together as they had learned to do so over the past months. It was hard to believe that six months ago they'd never even met.

The mission proceeded, hot on Saren's trail. They talked to Vigil, and raced to the conduit.

"There it is," Liara said.

"Unbelievable, a mass relay. Okay," Shepard turned to look at her team, "Tighten your belts and hold on. We're going in."

It shot them to the Citadel, and they tracked Saren down to the tower. Desperate to try one last time to get an esteemed Spectre and potential ally to do the right thing, she hid behind a railing and tried to reason with him. She reminded him of who he was. Taking a chance, she emerged, gun down, "You still have time to make this right, if you've got the guts."

"Yes, thank you Shepard." And Saren put his pistol to his head and pulled the trigger.

Horrified, she was frozen to the spot as she watched him fall and heard the glass break. Garrus was suddenly at her side. They slowly walked up and peered over the edge, seeing Saren's lifeless body.

"Make sure he's dead." She said quietly.

Dropping down, Garrus and Liara looked him over. Garrus put another satisfying bullet in his head. "He's dead."

Suddenly the ground shook, and the Reaper technology pushed out of his skin, a mechanical carcass emerging from Saren, exploding off the offensive organic flesh in flashes of red plasma. The creature flew up on the wall, red eyes and sharp metal talons fixed on the team. "I am Sovereign, and this station is MINE!"

"Holy fuck!" Shepard screamed and scrambled up off the ground with Garrus grabbing her arm and pulling her behind a pillar. Liara was across the room shooting biotic attacks at it.

Garrus and Shepard readied their weapons as she peered around at it.

"That thing was inside him the whole time!"

"He said he was upgraded by the Reaper, remember?" Garrus popped out the heat sink. He looked at her, "Ready?"

"Ready." She set her jaw. They emerged around the corner and attacked it, taking the heat off Liara. The way it sprang and flew, sending balls of plasma at them, it was unreal. She used nearly all her ammo, and gestured to Garrus, who flanked it and they finally took it out. This time there was no question as it incinerated into dust.

"Quick, we've got to get control of the station!" Shepard and the team scrambled back up to the control panel. "Vigil's codes worked, I've got control!"

Shepard opened the arms so the fleet could save the Destiny Ascension. The fleet took out Sovereign, tearing it to pieces. Through the window on the tower, Shepard saw an arm from the Reaper flying towards them. She turned to Garrus and Liara, only able to shout out, "Go!" a few seconds before it crashed into them.

Garrus woke up with a C-sec officer's omni-tool shining in his eyes. Captain Anderson was suddenly there, "Take it easy, it's over. You're safe now." He was puzzled, looking between Garrus and Liara who refused to meet his gaze.

"Where's the Commander? Where's Shepard?"

Garrus shook his head and looked over to the last place they saw her, where an enormous arm from Sovereign had crushed everything in its path.

Anderson let out a gasp, then reached down to help Garrus up. They slowly started walking away, Garrus looking back one last time at where he last saw her warn them, saving their lives. _There's no way I can go on without her_ , the thought shocked him. An intense pain and grief gripped his chest and he stopped.

Anderson leaned over him in concern, then a sudden movement caught his eye. He squinted back at the wreckage, straining to see what it was. "Oh my god," Anderson muttered.

They all stopped and turned back to see what he was looking at. Liara looked back at a stunned Garrus as they saw Shepard, limping, clutching her left arm, scampering over the wreckage towards them. Anderson looked at her with pride and relief, helping her down to the floor. He slapped her back and grinned, unable to speak.

"By the goddess," Liara had tears flowing down her cheeks. Shepard smiled at her, "Good work."

She looked between them up at Garrus, still stunned and frozen to the spot. Shepard limped up to him, "Takes more than a Reaper to get me, Garrus."

He reached out and grabbed her, taking her into a tight embrace.

"Oof," she winced.

He let go slightly, "Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"My shoulder, I think it's broken."

He walked to her side and helped her to walk towards the elevator. "Spirits, Jane."

"I know. But I'm here. We're both here, that's what counts." She smiled weakly and looked up at him, touched to see tears in his eyes. He never let go of her until they got into the Normandy medbay. Hospitals on the Citadel were completely overrun by casualties.


	3. Chapter 3

Dr. Chakwas closed the windows on medbay as the crew continued to cheer outside. "You did it, Shepard." She motioned for Garrus to assist her with taking Shepard's armor off.

"We all did it," Shepard replied, looking fondly at Garrus, so concerned with her. Liara sat on a nearby bed. Shepard gasped in pain as they took off her greaves.

"Sorry, Jane. It's the only way to get it off your arm. I'm trying to be gentle. Can you give her something for pain, Doctor?"

"Yes, of course," Dr. Chakwas quickly went to her cabinet and came back, giving her a shot. The doctor looked over her injuries as Garrus anxiously stood by.

Dr. Chakwas instructed Garrus to take off his armor as she finished her assessment of Shepard.

"You're going to need surgery on that shoulder." She said.

Shepard sighed, "I figured. How's my knee?"

"Cartilage damaged, I can fix it with a laser. Liara, let's take a look at you." Dr. Chakwas went over to her.

In his underarmor, Garrus limped over to Shepard. "How bad is it?"

She shrugged, then winced in pain, "Ugh, knee's okay. I'm going to have to have surgery on my shoulder. It's shattered."

"Damn."

"What about you? You're limping."

"No big deal."

"Garrus – sit down please so I can check out your injuries." Dr. Chakwas directed him.

He compiled and Shepard watched as he tried to re-focus Dr. Chakwas to attend to her.

"Okay, Liara, you're fine, just some soft tissue injuries that should heal in a few days. Garrus – you have a hairline fracture in your leg, I'm going to use the bone conductor to heal it, it should take about 10 minutes. No moving once I get it setup, clear?"

He nodded, and Liara left medbay.

"As for you, I'm going to have to prep you for shoulder surgery. After everyone else is out, I'll put you under and we'll get to work. Once we can get you to a better hospital, we can have a specialist look at it, but to prevent permanent nerve damage, I have to do something now."

"Okay, Doctor." She tried to keep it still as she watched her get the equipment set up on Garrus. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Dr. Chakwas gently cut the bloody uniform off her arm and cleaned her wound. She got her equipment ready on the tray and turned to Shepard. "I'm giving you a sedative now. The surgery should take a few hours, depending on how extensive the damage is."

"I trust you doctor. Thanks."

Garrus was by her side, looking down at her.

"Hey – you were supposed to be-" she started.

"I know, it's finished. I'm fine. I'm worried about you. I'll see you after you're done," he hesitated. "Do you want me to call Kaidan in?"

Shepard furrowed her brow, "What? Kaidan? No, I-" and she drifted off.

She woke up after surgery to see Dr. Chakwas looking down at her. "It went just fine. You need to stay here and sleep it off for a little while longer."

Shepard reached up for her.

"Yes, just relax. What is it?"

"Garrus," Shepard said softly.

Dr. Chakwas nodded and Shepard closed her eyes again. A few hours later she woke up and turned to see Garrus sitting next to her, holding her hand.

She smiled, "Hey," she said hoarsely.

He leaned in towards her, "Dr. Chakwas, she's awake."

The doctor came to her side and checked her equipment. "Looking good, Shepard. You can go back to your quarters if you'd like. Just go slow, you'll be a little unsteady for an hour or so."

She slowly sat up with Garrus' help. She looked down at her shoulder. A faint scar was visible. She tried to moving it around.

"It will be stiff for a few days, but you'll have full functionality soon. It wasn't as bad as I feared. I think this will pretty much take care of it, but I still recommend seeing a specialist in a few weeks," Dr. Chakwas brought up her omni-tool, "I'm sending you some rehab exercises. Do them. That will get you full strength and range of motion back."

"Okay, doctor I promise. Thanks for everything." She scooted to the edge of the bed and stood up, holding onto Garrus for support.

"Oh, and I fixed your knee too. If you have any issues with it or your shoulder, let me know as soon as possible." She started cleaning the bed off.

Shepard walked carefully towards the door. She stood up straight and looked at Garrus. "Thanks for being here for me."

"You know I wouldn't be anywhere else." He opened the door and they walked out to cheers and clapping from the crew.

Shepard smiled and waived them off, "Thanks, but everything was a team effort."

Garrus put his arm around her waist, "Come on guys, the Commander just got out of surgery."

He guided her across the mess to her quarters as the crowd made way for her.

"You don't have to fuss over me so much, Garrus." She laughed a little.

"We thought we lost you down there. It was the worst 30 seconds of my life." He gently guided her to her bed.

She looked up at him, touched by his caring.

"I'm going to get you something to eat," he pointed at her computer, "You've got messages from the Council and Captain Anderson, when you're up to it."

She nodded. The next day she met with the Council, who praised her actions and thanked her for their lives.

"This is just the beginning. There's more going on here than just Saren. The Reapers are waiting, and we've got to continue the fight." She walked away as Anderson, her recommendation for the Council seat, continued to talk to the Council members about their next move. Back on the Normandy, she spent the next few days recuperating under Garrus' watchful eye. He was doting, encouraging her to do her exercises, helping her with writing up her reports on the events of the attack on Sovereign.

A few days later she found him down in cargo bay working on the Normandy systems.

"Hey there."

"Hey, what are you doing down here?" he asked her.

"Oh, I'm just the ship's Commander, you know."

"Yes, I know. You doing okay?"

"You hover too much, Garrus, you know? I'm stronger than I look."

He sighed, "I don't mean to. I'm sorry."

"No," she said quickly, "I'm not mad or anything. In fact, it's kind of nice. It's been a while since I've had someone in my life that cared so much about me." She could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks and turned to the empty space the Mako had been. "I guess we'll have to get another one."

He sighed, "Yup. We'll be moving out soon."

"Yea, I've gotten some preliminary orders to stamp out the rest of the geth threat in the region. You know, I'm just afraid they're going to try and sweep the Reaper threat under the rug. Hopefully Anderson can help keep that in the forefront."

"I agree. Of course, we can keep working on it, even if they're not."

"True."

"I ordered you something. If a package comes with your name on it, it's from me."

She brightened, "Really? What is it?"

He shook his head, "It's a surprise. Something to help you relax."

"Hmm." She walked to the elevator, "Looking forward to it."

Later that night, the promised box came. She called Garrus to come see it.

He walked in, "You didn't open it."

"Oh, I thought you wanted to watch. It's big, I can't imagine what's in it." She took out her omni-blade and opened the wooden packaging. It was a vid screen.

She looked up at him in surprise. She'd thought it was some new armor, or a mod. "A vid screen?"

He nodded, "And a chip with complete library of vids. You need something in here other than your computer."

"That's great, Garrus."

He picked it up, "I'll mount it on your wall."

"You shouldn't have, I mean, I can watch vids on my computer too."

He scoffed, "That little screen? And I know you, if that computer's on, you're doing work." In a short period of time he had it on the wall and on. "How about this," he turned it to a nature scene.

"What's that?"

"It's Palaven. Famous waterfalls," he turned to her, "Maybe I'll show you someday."

"I would like that a lot." She felt herself blushing again. _Dammit._

He picked up the packaging trash and went to the door, "Enjoy, Jane. You deserve it."

"Thanks, Garrus," she called out as the door closed. She sighed, she was so glad to have him in her life.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day she was holed up in her quarters. Garrus started to get concerned about her and messaged her.

 _"You okay? Not binge watching Blasto, are you?"_

 _"No, just work. I've got official orders for our next mission."_

 _"Don't work too hard. How about I come by tonight and we can watch a vid together, if that's okay?"_

 _"Sure, I'd like that. 20:00 hours."_

 _"See you then."_ Garrus shut off his omni-tool.

At the appointed time, he pinged her door. "Enter," she called.

"Hey there, brought some Serrice ice brandy. Dr. Chakwas says it's the best. Not too sure what you really like."

"That's good stuff. I've got some Turian ale in my cabinet for you, too."

He was surprised, "Really? When did you get that?"

She brought it out of her cabinet, "A few weeks ago. Wanted to toast to Saren's demise. With everything that's been going on, I haven't had a chance. Now's the time, now's really the time," a sad look flickered over her face, then she smiled at him, "Here, I'll get some glasses."

He sat down at her table and fiddled with the controls on his omni-tool for her vidscreen. "What do you want to watch?"

"Oh, how about Blasto? You mentioned that the other day, and I've never seen it."

"Sure," he brought it on screen as she handed him a glass. He poured the Turian ale and took a drink, "Wow, smooth. This is quality stuff, Jane. Thanks a lot."

She raised her glass to his, "To taking down Saren."

He met his glass to hers, "And to you."

She smiled and took a drink. They watched the vid, laughing and pointing out inconsistencies in the battle scenes.

Shepard rolled her eyes, "There's no way a pistol holds that many clips."

Garrus laughed raucously, "You are so cute, that really irritates you doesn't it?"

"Well, they should have a consultant to make it realistic."

"Realistic, like how a hanar is a secret agent with an Asari girlfriend?"

She grinned, "I guess you have a point."

As the movie wound down, he got up and cleaned up his glasses, putting the Turian ale away. He looked over at her critically. "You're awfully quiet. Didn't like the movie?"

"No, I loved it. It was funny. It's just," she picked at the seam in her cargo pants. "I got orders for the next mission."

"Oh yea, you mentioned that. What's the problem, are we going somewhere really shitty?"

"We're always going somewhere shitty. No, the problem is that you can't come with me." She looked down.

"What?" he closed the cabinet and turned to face her. "Why?"

She rubbed her eyes with her hands, "The Alliance is taking over the Normandy. All alien crew has to be off the ship in the next three days. I – haven't told anybody else yet."

Garrus leaned against the wall. He looked visibly deflated. "Oh."

She got up and started pacing, "I tried to fight it, but I don't have a choice."

"You are a Spectre now, you know."

"Yes, but to go after the Reaper threat, I need the Normandy. If I leave, I won't have the ability to pursue the facts. I'm sorry, I don't know how I'm going to do this without you." She started to choke up.

"Hey, there's always another way, you should know that. Look, I hadn't said anything, but I've actually been approached for Spectre training."

She brought her head up, "Really? That's great Garrus!"

He smiled, "Thanks. I wasn't going to take them up on it, but now, well, I think I will. It's a one year program, and after I make Spectre, I'm free to go where I like."

"You're right. That's a great idea. You should totally go for it. I can't believe you were going to give up being a Spectre to stay here on the Normandy."

"Well, I made a commitment to you, and I meant it."

She smiled. "You know, we could go on Spectre missions together. We make an awesome team. It won't take me too long to clear the rest of the galaxy out of geth."

"Agreed. You'll have to make sure to keep messaging me, keep me up to date on everything that's going on."

"Of course. And I know you'll be nagging me about doing my shoulder exercises."

"I gave Dr. Chakwas my solemn vow."

She laughed. "I don't feel so bad about you having to leave, knowing that it's an opportunity for you. I've still got to let the rest of the crew know too."

"You can do that tomorrow. How about another vid? I'd like to get as much out of it as I can, knowing I'll be in Spectre boot camp soon."

They watched another vid, and as Shepard turned it off, she heard Garrus softly snoring on her bed. She watched him for a minute, thinking about how much she was going to miss him. She checked her omni-tool – it was 02:38. "Damn it's late." She turned off the lights and took off her boots and climbed up in her bed. As she lay down on the other side of the bed, he woke up, "Spirits, I drifted off, what time is it?"

"It's late," she said looking over her shoulder, "Look, just go ahead and sleep here, it's no big deal." She turned over and pulled the pillow under her.

"Okay, sure." He leaned back down, then said, "But wait, won't your boyfriend be upset?"

Shepard's eyes flew open, "My what!"

"Your boyfriend, Kaidan."

She sat up on her knees and looked down at him frowning, "He's not my boyfriend."

Garrus put his hand under his head to get a better look at her, "Look, I know it's against Alliance regs, but it's okay, you can be honest with me."

She shook her head vigorously, "He is not my boyfriend. What gave you that idea? Is he saying that?"

"Jane, everyone knows he spent the night with you before our mission to Ilos. I didn't know it was a one-night stand, it's really none of my-"

"Wait a minute," she put her hand on his chest, "Nothing happened between us, nothing at all. He came up here, we talked a little bit, he did try to kiss me, but I pushed him away. I don't feel that way about him at all, and I told him that that night. I felt bad that he was embarrassed, and we just sat and talked and had a few drinks, but that was it. I made it clear we were just friends, and he understood that." She pointed at him and raised her voice, "Is he saying we slept together?"

"No, no. Some of the crew saw you guys hugging in your doorway, and knowing how he felt about you, we just assumed. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it wasn't like that."

"Son of a bitch. Yes, I hugged him when he left, he was worried about the mission. Damn, I should have figured people would think there was something going on."

"You know, it's no big deal to like him. I kind of thought you did-"

"NO! I don't want him, I never wanted him! I want you." And she punctuated her words by slamming her hand on his chest. She drew in a gasp.

"What?"

"Um, I –"

Garrus propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her critically, "What did you say?"

She looked down, _Dammit, fuck!_

She cleared her throat, "I said," she paused and shut her eyes tight, moving her hand away from his chest, "That I never wanted him." She started to pull away.

He grabbed her hand, "What was the other part?"

She shook her head, but wouldn't look at him, "Nothing, nothing."

"Jane," he said with an edge to his voice.

"I said that I, uh, want you." She said quietly. She put her hands in her lap and studied them.

"That's what I thought you said."

"I'm sorry Garrus, I didn't mean to say that."

"You don't mean it?"

"No, I mean it, I just wasn't planning to say anything." She looked up at his shocked face, "I hope I haven't offended you. I've tried really hard all these months to keep it to myself."

He shook his head, "No, no, it's not like that. I'm just surprised, that's all."

She took a deep breath and slowly nodded, "Okay, well, I guess you should go." She got up off the bed.

"Wait, wait a minute," he reached out for her arm and pulled her back. He sat up and tilted his head, looking at her, "So, you're saying you want to be in a relationship with me?"

She sat on the edge of the bed and continued to look at her hands. "Yes. I value our friendship too much to risk it, though. Look, let's just please forget I said anything."

Garrus let out a loud breath. "You know, I've never considered interspecies intercourse before."

She put her face in her hands, "Oh god, please tell me we're not having this conversation."

"No, really, hear me out. I've never thought about it, but you're different. I could see us together. I'd definitely consider it."

She peered up from behind her hands, "Look, don't patronize me."

"Jane, don't be insulting. I'm serious. Things are different with us, we're close, very close. I admire you a lot, I care so much for you. Just because I've never thought about taking things to the next level doesn't mean I'm against it. I just don't know anything about how it works logistically."

"It's been done before." She said, biting her lip.

He nodded, "I know, I just – would need to do some research."

"I've looked it up, we're actually not too different. You just have to wear protection, the difference between amino and dextro species could create an allergic reaction." She stopped herself when she saw a grin on his face.

"You've done some research, huh?"

"Oh, well, dammit. Yes I have. I was wondering if it was even possible, and I found out it is, that's all." She smoothed out her sheet.

He chuckled. "I'm very flattered you would be interested in me like that. You don't think Turians are off-putting with our hard plates and skin, our sharp features?"

She reached out and put her hand on his arm, "I like you, Garrus, and I find you attractive. I admit I've never been with another species, but honestly, I just can't see myself with anyone but you."

He reached up and stroked the side of her face with the back of his finger. "I would be very interested in pursuing a relationship with you. It's just unfortunate that I have to leave the ship in a few days."

"I know. Look, like I said, if you want to forget it, I understand. We'll always be best friends, no matter what."

He shook his head and scooted closer to her, "No, I want to try. I just mean it's complicated, us being in different places. We can just take it one day at a time, and see, right?"

She smiled, "Yea, of course."

He lay back on the bed and motioned for her to lay in front of him, "Come on."

She lay down and said, "Um, I-"

"No, not that. Just lay next to me, and let's get some sleep."

She snuggled up into him and felt his warmth against her back. He wrapped his arm around her waist and held her hand in his. She reveled in the feeling of being in his arms, and went contentedly to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

In the morning, her omni-tool went off, waking both of them up. They were still entwined together.

"Mmm," Garrus leaned over and sniffed her.

"Is that a Turian thing?" she asked.

"Yea, didn't you find that out in your research?"

"No, I didn't do enough. I will, though, now that I've got a reason to."

"So will I. I don't want to hurt you, or do something rude without realizing it." He leaned back on her bed and looked up at the ceiling. "You weren't going to say anything to me, were you?"

She shook her head, "No."

He turned to look at her, "I'm glad you did, though. You know, you really are a beautiful woman."

She smiled, "Not put off by my pink fleshiness?"

"Nope. Looking forward to seeing more of it."

She laughed.

Garrus got up and started putting his boots on.

"You know you've got to walk out there past everyone in the mess hall." Shepard stood up and stretched.

"I hope Kaidan isn't still there pretending to work on that electrical panel." He grinned.

"You would love that. No, he stopped doing that after that night he came here and I rejected him."

Garrus walked over to her and said, "I don't care what anyone thinks. I care what you think. Let them all talk if they want to."

"I agree." She got closer to him and put her hands around his back, leaning in with her head against his chest.

"How about we go out on a date tonight?"

She pulled back, "Oh yeah?"

He nodded, "Sure. You know, get to know each other on a more personal level. We're docked at the Citadel. We're basically in limbo until you leave on your mission in a few days."

"Can't be many places here to go out with everything that's just happened."

He shrugged, "We need to get supplies, and further down from the Presidium the damage is minimal. We can go out to eat somewhere there."

She nodded, "Sounds great. I'd like that." She started to feel excited. This was really happening.

He gave her a squeeze. "Wonderful. I'm going to go over to my quarters and we'll come up with a time later, okay?"

She nodded. Her expression looked a little worried.

"What is it?" he asked her.

"I just – you're so important to me, Garrus. I don't want to screw this up."

"Of course you're going to screw this up. I will too, we'll both make mistakes because that's what happens when people are figuring each other out. Especially two different species, but that's okay. It doesn't have to be perfect to be successful. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. It's okay, we'll help each other out, and be understanding. Alright?"

She smiled and nodded, "Yes, alright."

"Good. I know you, you're not one to let fear control you. Don't start doing that now."

She realized he knew her better than she knew herself.

Garrus got dressed and chuckled to himself as he walked out of her quarters, glancing around the corner. As she'd said, Kaidan was no longer skulking around the control panel. Plenty of the crew were in the mess hall, and took notice of him leaving Shepard's quarters. He grinned as he walked around to the elevator and made his way down to the cargo hold.

He didn't have much work to do, now that there was no Mako to work on. He helped in engineering, making repairs from the fight against Sovereign. He showed up for a meeting that afternoon Shepard called for all the crew, knowing she was going to announce the Alliance taking over the Normandy and the mandate for all aliens to be off the ship in the next few days.

They all crowded in the mess hall, the only room large enough to hold most of the crew.

He only half paid attention as Shepard thanked the crew, went over their accomplishments over the past months. He watched her, thinking about how he'd been stroking her hair that morning. He couldn't wait to get her in his arms again. It was exciting, taking their relationship to an intimate level. He'd never thought about being with a human, but being with her was different, special. She'd chosen him, said she'd been attracted to him from the beginning. She'd rejected Kaidan's advances as well. Everyone, including he, had thought she would totally go for Kaidan as a mate. He smiled, thinking how of all the people in the galaxy, she'd chosen him. It wasn't conventional, to say the least, for the representative of human Alliance, the first Spectre, to be so confident in herself to pursue a relationship with a Turian. He was glad he'd been open-minded when she first shocked him when she'd confessed her feelings last night. The more he thought about it, thought about her, the more right it felt. He continued to watch her address the crew, and saw the frustration and disappointment underneath her professional calm. He heard Wrex mumble something about not enough time, and he came out of his own musings to pay more attention to the situation at hand.

"So, we'll be leaving tonight. Any questions or concerns, please come see me in my quarters, as I'll be preparing for our next mission." She nodded and turned to address a visibly upset Liara.

"Wait, did she say tonight?" Garrus stopped Pressley as he turned to walk past him.

"Yeah. All the Alien crew has to be off today. Don't see what the big rush is, but the Alliance doesn't ask us our opinion before they give orders." He gave him a wry smile and patted him on the shoulder, "It's been an honor serving with you, Officer Vakarian."

Garrus frowned, "Yes, for me as well." He spotted Shepard talking still to Liara and made his way over to her.

She turned to see him and instantly grabbed his arm. "I'm sorry, I just got word ten minutes before the meeting. We're leaving tonight," she looked down and shook her head, "I guess we'll have to reschedule our date."

He nodded, "Will we have some time alone before you go?"

She nodded vigorously, "Yes, definitely. Wrap things up, and come to my quarters. I'll meet you there." She brought up her omni-tool and gave him the override code.

She watched as he made his way back through the crowd and felt intense regret for having to split up her crew. For an instant she'd thought about taking the Normandy anyway, crew intact, but knew that she wouldn't get far before her actions would catch up to her. Going after Saren had been one thing, taking the ship as her own personal craft was an entirely different one, and one that would not be supported by the rest of the crew. She may be a Spectre, but she was Alliance first. She turned and talked to Tali and Wrex, talking to them personally about how much she valued their contributions, their friendship, and making plans to stay in touch. They all knew this was not over, was just the beginning, and that even if they weren't on the same ship, they all still shared the same mission – to fight the Reapers.

After completing her duties as quickly as she could, she went back to her quarters and was relieved to see Garrus waiting for her.

He stood up as she walked in and took her in a tight embrace.

"This really sucks." She said.

He laughed, "I love the personal side of you I get to see." He pulled back and looked down at her face. "Hey, I'll be training on the Citadel the first 6 months, so anytime you dock for supplies, or to meet with the Council, we can spend time together. You can contact me anytime as well, leave a message or a vid, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

She nodded. She pulled back in for a hug. "I just wish I'd said something sooner to you, that we could have spent more time together."

"Who knows how things would have gone? I would probably have tried to get you to resign your commission and stay with me."

"And I would have been tempted."

"See? We've got to do what's right," he brushed a strand of hair off her face. He leaned down and put his forehead to hers. She let out a little gasp and tightened her grip on him.

"Wow, that was amazing," she said, surprised.

He grinned as he pulled back, "That's a Turian kiss."

She put her hand to her forehead, "I felt that rush down my whole body."

"Glad you liked it. We've got more to look forward too."

Sooner than they both liked, she was at the docking bay, saying goodbye to them. Liara first, who's emotions overtook her. Tali next, who was grateful for the geth data she'd been able to secure for her. Shepard was touched by her enthusiasm for completing her pilgrimage so successfully. Garrus was next, she couldn't really talk, and neither could he. They'd already said their personal goodbyes in her cabin. She turned and Wrex was next, gruffly shaking her hand and slapping her on the back so hard she nearly doubled over.

"Hey, watch the shoulder. Dr. Chakwas worked hard on that," she admonished.

He guffawed, "Been great working with you, Shepard," he pointed at her, "Anything you need, you call on me."

"Thanks, Wrex," she stood in the doorway watching as they walked out towards the airlock. The crew was crowded behind her. Many of them had voiced their strong opinions about them not being forced to leave, but it fell on deaf ears. As they waved and Shepard started to turn, she heard Garrus' voice.

"Wait, wait," he pushed his way past Wrex and came back on the ship.

Shepard turned just in time to face him as he grabbed her and gave her a tight hug. She returned it.

"I'll see you soon, Jane." He whispered in her ear.

She nodded, unable to speak as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. He let go and looked down at her, "None of that, okay?" as he brushed the tears away from her face with the back of his finger.

"Okay," she barely whispered and he let go, picking up his duffle bag and walking briskly out to join the rest of the group waiting at the elevator.

She took a deep breath and turned to see Dr. Chakwas standing beside her, giving her an impulsive hug.

"I understand, dear." She said.

Shepard hated letting her personal feelings be so on display to the rest of the crew, and quickly wiped the tears away and put her hands on her hips, "Well, I've got to go prepare for our next destination." She walked towards the cockpit to talk to Joker.

The rest of the crew were murmuring about her and Garrus, the body language between them confirming what the ship gossip had been that morning about him staying the night with her. A few of them looked pityingly at Kaidan, thinking he had been dumped for Garrus. Kaidan watched the scene with disbelief. He'd thought she'd been too stressed about the mission, bound by Alliance regulations to consider a romance with him. Now he'd seen for himself the rumors about her and Garrus, that he'd dismissed as ridiculous before, were actually true. Her distraught at him leaving had been palpable. Kaidan sighed and turned to go back to work. He didn't know what he couldn't offer her, but she'd made her choice clear, and he would have to live with it.


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard sat in the chair next to Joker's empty one in the cockpit. She took deep breaths, trying to compose herself. It was heart-wrenching to start a relationship she'd longed for for so many months, then to separate. She shook her head and tried to keep things in perspective. They could maintain a long distance relationship, and eventually be reunited. If things didn't work out, well, then they weren't meant to be. Joker sitting in his chair next to her caught her attention and he looked over at her, quiet.

She smiled, "I'm not used to being this emotional on-duty."

"I think you're allowed, since you just single-handedly just saved the galaxy."

"Not so single-handedly."

He turned to his console and started pushing buttons, "Well, duh, you had the best pilot in the Alliance too."

She laughed, then wiped her eyes dry.

He looked over at her, "Sooo, you and Garrus, huh?"

She grinned, "Yea. Wish I'd told him sooner."

"To be honest, I thought you were with Kaidan."

She shook her head, "No, he was interested in me, but I never felt that way about him, and told him so. Anything else was just ship gossip."

"Gotcha. I can see you and Garrus together. You guys would be good for each other."

"Thanks. I think so. I wish he could have stayed on board, though."

"You know how the Alliance is. They couldn't wait to get their grubby paws back on the Normandy." He could sense her hurt, and knew how much she leaned on Garrus' support. "Long-distance relationships work. Not that I would know from personal experience, but I've seen it. You ah, not concerned about the interspecies differences?"

She absentmindedly ran her hand through her hair, "Not really. It's been done before. I've done some research on it."

He leaned forward, "Really? Mind sending me some of that research my way? Better yet, I can look some up and send some to you."

"Yeah, no thanks. I can only imagine what you could find on the extranet."

He held his hands up in protest, "What, what? It could be instructional, with diagrams and everything. I've got more free time on my hands now, I could find some helpful stuff."

"Ugh, I've heard enough. Oh – and don't try putting bugs in my cabin. I check that every night."

"Who, me? I'm really hurt Shepard that you would think that about me."

She shook her head and grinned, "Well, I suppose you'd better set us a course. Hackett sent us coordinates." She stood up.

"Stamping out geth our new mission?" he looked at her inquiringly.

"For now. Of course we'll still be checking out reapers on the side. They can't stop us from doing that."

"True. Found Hackett's message. Setting coordinates. Ready to go?"

She sighed, "Ready."

The next week she focused on their mission of systematically going through planetary systems taking out remaining geth. There was more than she anticipated. The husks seemed to be gone, though, disappeared. "Maybe that's a good sign," she told Kaidan. They worked together on most missions, with the rest of her usual team gone, she counted on him more. He was respectful and professional, and they started to form a friendship again that wasn't as awkward, and she was glad for that.

Back in her quarters, she switched on the new vid screen Garrus had bought her and messaged him. She'd figured out key times he was likely to be back in his quarters. Sure enough, his face flickered across the screen. She sat on her bed and pulled her knees up underneath her.

"Hey, how was today?" he asked her.

"Mm, good. It's a bit boring, I admit."

He laughed, "You could use a little boring these days."

"I suppose. Oh – I have good news! We're coming to the Citadel next week. We're only there for 6 hours, but after I stock up on supplies, I can come see you."

"Fantastic. I have training in the morning, but you can come by in the afternoon and I'll show you around. Then we can go out to eat – have that date I promised you."

She beamed, "I can't wait."

"So – you doing your shoulder exercises?" he pointed at her.

She sighed, "Of course, boss. Twice a day. Doctor says I don't need further surgery."

"Good."

"What about you? How was training today?"

"Tough, as it should be. I'm sore. Wish you could help me work it out."

She blushed, "I would love to."

"You know, I've been doing some more research."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, it ah, became an embarrassing conversation with my C.O. actually."

She sat up, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they monitor communications intermittently, just to make sure, you know. No security leaks, things of that nature."

She nodded, "Right."

He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck, "My internet searches were questioned as extranet porn. Not a serious offense, but frowned upon."

She put her hand over her face, "Oh god."

He chuckled, "Yea, so I explained to him how my girlfriend was human, and this was personal research. He calmed down after that. Nothing to worry about."

"That's pretty funny actually. I hope the research you found was worth it."

"Oh, definitely. I'm just waiting for when you get a few days shore leave and we can try it out."

She felt a shiver down her back. "Me too."

They talked a bit more, then she shut off the vid screen. The next week went pretty much the same routine, she was able to talk to Garrus most every night after mundane missions taking out pockets of geth. They made their way back to the Citadel for the short shore leave, and Shepard eagerly disembarked, quickly going around and ordering the supplies she needed. Her omni-tool lit up and she messaged Garrus back. He met her by a taxi stand, still looking down at his omni-tool when she ran up and surprised him with a hug.

"Jane!" he picked her up and squeezed her, like he had that day they defeated Saren and she'd emerged from the wreckage.

"Oh, Garrus! I'm so glad to see you!" she looked up at him, then gave him an even harder hug.

He breathed in her scent, not realizing how much he really had missed her until she was here with him now. They continued to embrace, then he finally pulled back and held her arms, looking down at her. "We can take a taxi back to the training headquarters. I'll show you around, and then we can go eat. I found a great place that serves amino and dextro foods."

"Wonderful." She got in the taxi and they took a short ride to the training center.

"I've been meaning to ask you why the Training Center is here on the Citadel, considering it's a Turian run facility."

"They wanted to be under the scrutiny of the Council. Otherwise, if it was on Palaven, it would undoubtedly turn into a Turian military run operation. This way they can bring in Asari teachers as well. The Asari have one on the Citadel too. Pretty soon I suppose there will be a human one. Maybe you could be the C.O. of that."

She smirked, "Head-mistress of a school? I don't see that for myself."

"No? Then what are your retirement plans then, Spectre?"

"Oh, that's so far away, I can't even imagine."

"Hmm. Maybe you'll move to Palaven as ambassador and raise adopted Turian babies."

She raised her eyebrows and looked at him, "Is that the plan, Vakarian?"

"It's my plan."

"Hm. Maybe you could move to Citadel as instructor of the Spectre training program and help your Councilman wife raise adopted human and Turian children."

"That sounds nice too." He reached out for her hand and kissed it.

She could feel her heart swelling up with his love and adoration. She had held back so much, for so long. She honestly would never have even considered a relationship if it hadn't been for how her own mortality frightening her past her deeper fears on the mission to get Saren. Once she became serious about her Alliance career, she'd put all that aside, not wanting to sacrifice her heart with the demands of a job. Yet, here she was, totally embracing it. Garrus had changed all that.

They arrived at the Turian Spectre training center with Garrus getting her past security.

"It's not a problem, me being here?"

"You're a Spectre. You're allowed here." He lead her through the lobby of the facility and down towards the barracks. She was mostly unrecognized through the hallways, but one of Garrus' instructors passed them in the hallway and stopped them.

"Commander Shepard! It's an honor to have such an esteemed Spectre here. Are you coming to lecture our new recruits?" she said excitedly.

Shepard shook her head, "No, I'm not here in an official capacity."

"Oh, that's a shame," she hurriedly held her hand out, "I'm Sarice, one of Trainee Vakarian's instructors. I have to say, he's one of the best we've ever had. Well, being on your team certainly taught him a lot, I'm sure. You know, we tried recruiting him years ago, but he went to C-sec instead. Happy to have him on board at last." She beamed at them.

"I am humbled by your praise," Garrus gave her a slight bow.

She waived her hand at him, "Certainly earned. You here for a tour, then?"

"Something like that. Garrus is showing me around a bit, then we're going to get something to eat. I'm only here for a few hours."

"I see," she nodded, noticing them holding hands. "Well, I won't hold you up any longer. I'm pleased to meet you, and you're welcome to come any time."

As she rushed past them, Shepard looked up at Garrus, "She's not what I would expect in an instructor."

"You've only been exposed to Turians in the military, Jane. We're a far more personable race than that represents."

Soon they arrived at his quarters that he shared with another recruit. As they entered, his roommate stood up from the couch and greeted Shepard, shaking her hand.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Marek."

Shepard smiled and shook his hand back. "So, this is where you guys hang out, huh?"

They laughed, "Not much time to hang out," Marek said. "Besides, any spare time he has is spent on the internet or talking to you."

Shepard blushed.

"I was on my way out to the gym, you guys can have the place to yourselves," Marek started.

Garrus stopped him, "No, we're just taking a quick look around, then going out to eat. She's got to get back on the Normandy tonight."

He showed her around their barracks, but it was much more of an apartment than that. They each had their own rooms, joined by a living / kitchen area. "Next time you come, I'll have some amino food for you, and we can stay here."

Shepard nodded. It was strange, seeing Garrus a student, a trainee, like basic training. He was really taking it seriously. It had been different for her becoming a Spectre. As the first human, there was no training school, no protocol. It just happened. She looked around and saw photos of her and Garrus together peppered around his room. She picked one up, "Where did you get this? I want a copy."

"Tali gave that to me. All those pictures she took preparing to leave back to the Migrant Fleet. I'll send you copies."

"Good. I'd love to have these to look at in my quarters." She smiled brightly at him.

"Let's go. I'll show you around the facilities, then we'll go out."

She was impressed by the equipment, the training rooms. The combat sims were better than anything she'd seen through the Alliance. They walked outside the facility and down the street.

"There are other parts of the facility, training in different languages, species, strategy, espionage."

"They work you hard. It's an intensive schedule." She said admiringly.

"It should be. Only 2 out of every 10 candidates make it through the first 6 months. If you make it past that, you join up with another Spectre for 4 – 8 months."

"It was totally different for me."

"Yes, they were going to skip the initial training period since I was with you on the Normandy, but I didn't want any special treatment. Here we are."

She looked up and they were in front of a restaurant.

"I go here a lot. I thought you might like it."

They sat at a table and ordered. Garrus grabbed her hand and held it across the table. He lightly rubbed her fingers.

"I'm so proud of you, Garrus. I had no idea how involved this was. You're going to make a great Spectre."

"And then we can go out on missions together, right?"

"It's a plan."

"You're my motivation, Jane. I feel like I have a purpose, a future to look forward to for the first time. It's like I've got new life breathed into me."

She squeezed his hand, "I'm so glad you feel that way. It's like a dream. I had such a crush on you for so long, I never thought you might return my feelings. I'm so happy. The only thing that will make it better is when we can finally be together again. It's hard, I'm not going to lie."

"I know. I'm so busy, I think that's the only thing that keeps me from dwelling on it."

They finished their meal, and before they knew it, it was time for her to get back to the ship.

Outside the taxi stand, she held on to Garrus and leaned up and kissed him. He held her tightly and ran his fingers through her hair.

"You know, I like this trainee uniform on you. It's handsome."

He laughed, "Maybe I'll keep it and wear it for you on special occasions."

"Mmm, sounds nice," she sighed.

He broached the topic of work, one they had been avoiding all night. "So where are you off to next?"

"The Terminus systems. A couple of ships have gone missing out there. Must be a larger pocket of geth we need to get to."

"Be careful. You don't have your best sniper with you."

She smiled weakly, "I know. We did pick up a couple more Alliance soldiers to go out on missions. Can't always be just me and Kaidan."

"How are things going with him?" he asked.

She shrugged, "Better. He backed off, he's professional and we've developed a respectful friendship. He's really a decent guy, he just fell in love with the wrong woman. He'll find the right one someday."

"Shame, I always felt Ashley would be good for him." Garrus regretted bringing her up. To his relief, Shepard laughed.

"She would have been way too much for him to handle. He needs a meek, submissive woman."

"That's definitely not you."

"No, definitely not." She leaned against his chest, "but the right one for you, right?"

"Definitely yes."

Her omni-tool went off, letting her know she had 10 minutes to get back on the ship. "Well, I'd better go." She looked down.

"Hey, let's get a picture together. I'll send it to you along with the other ones in my quarters."

"Okay, great idea." She leaned against him, and he held up his omni tool, taking several images of them together.

"Our first official date." He pushed a few buttons, "Just sent it to you."

"Great, I'll put it in my quarters tonight."

She cleared her throat, she knew she needed to go, but didn't want to. Seeing him again made the pain of his absence more acute. She reached up for his lapels, "I'm putting in for some shore leave in a month. I'll have a few days accrued by then."

He reached up and took her hands in his, "Let me know when, and I'll get some time off from here as well, at least half days, like today."

She nodded. She looked up at him and gave him one last lingering kiss. He reveled in her taste, it made him long for more.

"Okay, Spectre. You can't set a bad example by being late."

"Yea, I know. Garrus?"

"Yes?"

She locked eyes with him, "I love you."

"Oh Jane, I love you too."

She smiled and walked away, picking up the pace as she walked around the corner.


	7. Chapter 7

The next week he heard from her less, as the Normandy went further out the signal was delayed. They sent each other vid messages to keep in contact. Soon she was too far out for vidfeed contact, and Garrus busied himself with Spectre classes and training, waiting for her upcoming shore leave in two weeks.

He was in the middle of his course on interspecies languages and culture when he was called out to the administrator's office.

 _Curious_ , Garrus thought as he headed down the corridor. He couldn't imagine why he was being called up. It was extremely unusual to be asked to speak to him.

He walked briskly past his receptionist and she nodded to him to enter his office.

"I was told you need to see me, sir?" Garrus was stunned to see Dr. Chakwas stand up next to Administrator Baun. "Dr. Chakwas? What are you doing here, you off the Normandy?" he smiled and walked up to her, holding his hand out. She shook it, and looking at him briefly, then stood next to the desk.

Administrator Baun motioned to the chair across him, and Garrus sat, looking between them, perplexed.

"Is – there something wrong?"

Dr. Chakwas looked at the floor. The Administrator folded his hands in front of him, staring at Garrus.

Garrus swallowed hard, something was very wrong. "What is going on?"

Baun put his hands down, "Garrus, there's been an – incident."

"Okay."

The longer they were silent, the more he felt his stomach sink. Was his father ill? He did have medical issues –

"The Normandy was attacked. The intel coming in, well, it's not good."

Garrus blinked, he couldn't process what he was hearing.

Baun looked at him directly, "The ship was destroyed, some of the crew made it out in escape pods and are being treated here at the Citadel." He gestured towards Dr. Chakwas.

Garrus stood up and looked at Dr. Chakwas, "I've got to get to Shepard, where is she?"

"Sit down, please." Baun motioned to the chair again.

Frustrated, Garrus sat down and leaned forward.

Dr. Chakwas spoke for the first time. "I'm sorry Garrus, she's gone. She – she didn't make it."

He felt his throat go dry, "So they haven't found her yet, she's still out in the Terminus systems in an escape pod."

She started to pace, only then did he notice the cut on her forehead, the disheveled appearance of her uniform.

"We were in the Terminus system, we were attacked by some sort of ship, I don't know what. The weapons they had, I've never seen anything like the destruction."

Dr. Chakwas walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, "She never made it to the escape pod. The ship was destroyed as she was attempting to get in one after she put Joker in. She was the last one out, Joker saw her hit the wreckage and fall into space," she started choking up, "Only about half of us made it out alive. I, I'm so sorry." She dissolved into tears.

"This isn't true, she's made it out of worse before, you're wrong," he stood up and moved away from her.

Administrator Baun spoke up, "Take all the time off you need, Vakarian. We'll be here for you when you're ready."

Garrus looked at him with shock. His statement made him realize that it must be true. He turned and silently left the office, suddenly finding himself back in his apartment. As he burst through the door, he saw Marek shoot up off the couch.

"I, uh, they asked me to come back here and be here for you." He stammered.

Garrus walked a few feet in the room and looked at the vid screen, the ANN flashing the story of the Normandy attack. He slowly walked towards it as he was transfixed by the news reporter's account of what happened. He still felt they had the story wrong, until he saw footage of the crew at the hospital. Joker's image flashed across the screen, and he could tell by the look on his face Dr. Chakwas had told him the truth. He fell to the ground and Marek walked over, putting his hands on his shoulders. "Whatever you need, man." He said helplessly.

Garrus slowly got up and went to his room, taking out his duffel bag and sitting on his bed.

"She can't be gone, she can't."

Marek came in and silently packed his clothes and toiletries for him. Garrus numbly took his bag, then stopped and took all the pictures he had of him and Shepard and put them in the bag. Why didn't he have something else from her? He became angry, Why didn't he have any personal belongings from her at all? A shirt, a lock of her hair, anything? Because he thought he had time, that's why. He thought he had time.

He looked up at Marek and shook his hand, "Thanks." And he left.

The next weeks were a blur of trying to get more information, fruitless attempts to find her, then a reluctant acceptance, as he attended the funeral services for her and the other deceased crew.

A year later he was living in a crummy apartment on Omega, transformed into the vigilante Archangel. He had a small team he was putting together, working on trying to make the galaxy a better place. It was the least he could do to honor her memory. That was the only thing that had pulled him together – her. He kept his Spectre cadet uniform in his closet, the only thing he still had from his former life, beside photos. He never forgot how proud she was of him. His desire to never disappoint her pulled him from the abys, gave him some semblance of a life.

He sat on the edge of his bed, looking out at the blinking lights from the building across him. Time between missions was the hardest. His mind always wandered back to what could have been. The pain of her death was acute. The anger he felt at taking for granted she would be around had never left him. At times it fueled him, other times it burned him alive from the inside out, leaving him an ashy hull of his former self.

He stood up and walked wearily to the food storage and took out a bland meal, eating and drinking without pleasure. He sank into bed and stared at the ceiling, watching the pattern made by the lights. He turned over and lost himself in her smiling face looking back at him from the photos he had memorized.

He woke up with a gasp, then held his face in his hands. Another dream where he was with Shepard, and she disappeared in the crowd. He searched endlessly for her, hearing her call him. He wished his mind would stop torturing him. He'd rather never dream about her at all than have these continuing nightmares.

 _You are still a whisper on my lips  
A feeling at my fingertips  
That's pulling at my skin_

 _You leave me when I'm at my worst  
Feeling as if I've been cursed  
Bitter cold within_

 _Days go by and still I think of you  
Days when I couldn't live my life without you_

 _"Days go by"_ by Dirty Vegas


	8. Chapter 8

Two more years since he'd left the Normandy, or was it three? Garrus couldn't remember. He took out two more mercs from his perch on the wards on Omega. He'd been there for days, taking them out systematically, but he was reaching his limits. Hyped on stims, running low on ammo, he was having trouble keeping a grip on reality. He'd been awake for almost 4 days straight. At one point thought he'd heard Wrex's voice, and called to him, before he realized it was a Krogan merc and took him out. He was starting to run out of options, and moved from wondering how he was going to get out of it, to accepting he probably wasn't.

"At least I can finally join her," he said. In some ways, it would be a relief. After his team was killed, and he was betrayed by Sidonis, he felt his purpose lost. He'd let her down, and was numbly going through the motions of living.

Another day went by, or was it two? He must have passed out at some point, and awoke to the sound of mercs trying to open the door he had barricaded. He took them out, and took their ammo. Nearly delirious, he took aim again from his post. It looked like they were making a finally push to take him out.

"I'll take as many as I can with me, bastards." Some mechs, a few more mercs, humans. Suddenly his scope focused in on what looked like Shepard. He jerked his head back, looking down at the small group. He brought his rifle sight back up. It looked like her, but different. He didn't recognize the other two humans with her. He shook his head, he must be near death, or was he dead already? He wanted the vision to go away and took a well-aimed shot at her shoulder – concussive rounds. She jerked back, and then gestured to her team and started taking out the mercs who had made it into the base. She disappeared, and startled by the vision, he tried to re-focus on the next wave of mercs going over the bridge. He could hear Krogans outside his door, trying to get in. This time it sounded like they were successful. He continued to aim at the waves of mechs coming over the bridge. The door opened and he turned to shoot, but it was that maddening vision of a Shepard look alike again with 2 humans, this time pulling guns on him.

"Archangel?"

She even sounded like her. He motioned for her to be quiet, then took out a pesky human merc attempting to hide behind a beam. Determined to confront her and make her disappear once and for all, he walked over to the back wall and sat on it, slowly putting his gun down and taking his helmet off so he could get a better look.

He looked at her, perplexed, "Shepard. You're dead."

"Garrus," she gasped and dropped her gun. She ran over to him, "What are you doing here!"

He looked at her flatly, "A little target practice."

She grabbed his arm and attempted to give him a hug, "It's me, Jane. I'm here, we're going to get you out. I can't believe it's you, you're Archangel."

He looked down at her. It was frustrating, how realistic this hallucination was. Maybe if he just went along with it, it would be over soon. Either that or he was dead already, and this was where he was ending up.

"I need to get out of here." He said.

She looked at him searching his eyes for a way to get through to him. Miranda's voice broke through, "He's hyped up on stims. I don't think he can process what's happening."

Shepard nodded, "Must be it. Come on, let's get the hell out of here."

They took out more mercs and then split up, Shepard leaving Miranda with Garrus, admonishing her, "Keep him alive." It had been her mission to find him since she woke up on the Cerberus base. She wasn't going to let him go, now that she had the miracle of finding him again.

Joining him back upstairs she thought they were home free, whittling out the remaining mercs, but the gunship appeared, and to her horror, she watched a missile explode in his face.

"Garrus!" she let out a blood curdling scream that shocked Jacob into action. He put all his gunfire on the ship as Shepard stood up and they took it out. Miranda picked off the remaining mercs rappelling down to their floor.

Finally safe, she crawled over to where Garrus was bleeding blue on the floor, not moving. "Garrus," she wailed. And he gasped, gurgling and taking his rifle in his hand. "Oh my god!" she screamed, "Get some medigel!" she yelled at Miranda and Jacob, who was sitting down next to her, applying some to his neck and face.

Miranda stood over them, "He's not going to make it," she said matter-of-factly.

Shepard helped Jacob keep applying medigel and growled at Miranda, "Shut the fuck up and call Joker to send the shuttle. He's going to make it, and if he doesn't," she looked up at her, "I'm off the goddamn mission and you'll never see me again."

Garrus woke up in a medbay, looking around, disoriented. He tried to get up, but the pain in his face and neck were excruciating. He groaned and put a hand up, feeling bandages.

"Garrus, lie down please, you're just coming out of anesthesia."

He let his pounding head fall back on the pillow and opened his eyes to see Dr. Chakwas. He laughed, then stopped, feeling pain on the right side of his face. He hadn't seen her since the day she came to tell him Shepard was dead.

"Are you dead too?" he asked her.

She checked the monitors above him, "No, nobody's dead. Although you made a good try."

He looked around him. He was definitely on a ship. "Where are we?"

"You're on the Normandy."

"Spirits, I am dead."

Dr. Chakwas gave him her attention and patted his arm, "This is a rebuilt Normandy. You're in the medbay. Shepard brought you here after you were hit by a missile on Omega. I had to do surgery on your face. You'll have bandages for a while, but it will heal. Scars will remain, but I think you'll be functional."

She looked down at him as he shook his head back and forth. She smiled kindly at him, "I know this is a lot to take in. You're still recuperating from dehydration and over use of stims as well. I've got most of your lab values in normal range now, though. Good thing I took courses on Turian physiology. Plus the Cerberus cybernetics will help healing and function immensely."

"Cerberus?"

"Yes, this is actually a Cerberus ship. They rescued Shepard-"

Garrus held up his hand, "Why do you keep talking about Shepard? She's dead."

Dr. Chakwas sat down next to him and took a deep breath. "No, she's alive. That was her you saw on Omega. She was in a coma for two years, Cerberus obtained her body after the SR1 was destroyed and rebuilt her. We're on a mission to go after the Collectors. They are responsible for the attack on the original Normandy, now they're attacking human colonies. We're trying to – I shouldn't be going into all this now, you've only just woken up."

"No, I want to know, none of this makes any sense."

She sighed, "It does sound pretty convoluted. The important thing is, you're here, Shepard's here. As soon as I release you, you can go see her for yourself."

He put his hand up over his eyes, Could it be true? She wasn't dead after all? It didn't seem possible. He thought over everything Dr. Chakwas had said. Cerberus rebuilt her? What did that mean, was she a sort of hybrid clone or robot? He felt he was spinning, and turned and went back to sleep, reeling from everything that had happened.

Hours later he woke again, this time more lucid, quizzing Dr. Chakwas on what she had told him before. Now he noticed the Cerberus symbol on her uniform. It was hard to believe Shepard was working for them. Hard to believe the Jane he'd loved was somehow back. As soon as all the remaining tests were done and he got dressed, Dr. Chakwas let him go after notifying Jacob to arrange a meeting.

Garrus walked out and made his way to the conference room, looking around at the new crew and the new ship. Familiar, yet different. He faltered at the conference room door, afraid of what he would find. He heard voices inside, and again one that sounded like her. He opened it and went in.

"-tough son of a bitch." Jacob said.

Garrus recognized the human male that had been with her on Omega. Then he looked over and saw her. It was Shepard, but somehow different, not her. He hesitated. He was the only alien he'd seen on a Cerberus ship. What if this was all a trap of some sort?

"They wouldn't give me a mirror, how bad is it?" he asked her.

She folded her arms, "I think it will scar, but I'm partial to handsome Turians with scars."

He cracked a grin, "Oh, don't make me laugh. My face is barely holding together as it is."

She took a few steps towards him, but remained silent.

Jacob cleared his throat, then saluted Shepard and left. As the doors closed, Garrus closed the gap between them, staring down at her.

"Dr. Chakwas tried to fill me in on what's going on. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it."

"Me too, actually." She reached up and tentatively placed her hand on his chest, "I missed you so much, Garrus."

He reached out and grabbed her into a strong hug as her wet tears fall on his shoulder. He held on to her, leaning down and taking in her scent, feeling her skin. He reached his hand up and worked his fingers into her short dark curls. "It really is you," he murmured.

She nodded and they stayed in an embrace. Finally he pulled back to get a closer look at her. "Your hair is short." He said.

She laughed, "I know, I'm trying to grow it out. It all fell out apparently, after I was spaced." She updated him on how she'd been nearly suffocated, her body recovered by Cerberus. Her extensive surgeries, the mission and how she'd found him.

The whole time she talked he held onto her, not wanting to let go of this dream that was his new reality.

She took a deep breath and hugged him, "How about we get out of this conference room and go up to my quarters where we can talk more," she looked around, "I've disabled the Cerberus bugs in my room."

He nodded, and they left, his arm around her, not wanting to let go of her for an instant.


	9. Chapter 9

They went up the elevator to her quarters, stealing glances at each other on the ride up, Shepard holding fast to his arm. They kept silent, mindful they had no privacy from the Cerberus bugs on the ship. The doors opened, she put her code in and the doors wooshed open. Garrus stepped in behind her, and as he glanced over at the fish tank, he was nearly knocked over as she threw her arms around him and buried her face in the chest of his armor.

"Oh my god, Garrus," she started to sob.

He grabbed onto her as her legs buckled underneath her and he knelt down on the floor with her.

"Jane, Spirits, are you okay? Should I get Dr. Chakwas?" he started to bring up his omni-tool.

"No, no, I'm just so-" she looked up at him and held his face between her hands, tears spilling down her face. "I thought you were dead, and then we found you, and you were nearly killed in front of me." She smiled, stroking lightly the bandages on the right side of his face.

He reached his hands up around hers. "I just can't believe it's you. I love you so much. I mourned for you," he looked down and choked up.

"I know, I'm so sorry. If there had been any way for me to let you know I was alive, but," she shook her head, "I only became conscious a few weeks ago."

He looked at her, still in shock. He stood up and helped her to her feet, holding her hands, "I'm never leaving your side again. If anything ever happens again, it happens to us together."

She nodded. "I know." She hugged him again. They held onto each other as if trying to make the last two years disappear.

He leaned back and stroked her short curls. "I thought so much about when you came to see me on the Citadel. Knowing I'd told you I loved you made it easier when you were gone. Does that sound weird?"

"No. I thought about it too when I was being spaced. At least I'd told you I loved you so you wouldn't be wondering after I was dead."

He frowned. "Were you really dead? You experienced that?"

"I was suffocating, and I was dying, but because the planet was cold, I ended up in a coma. Lawson, the first officer who stayed with you on Omega, was lead on the project to bring me back. She's offered to give me more details, but I haven't asked. I think it would just freak me out. I've got a lot of implants, cybernetics. But, I'm still me. No control chips in the brain or anything." She pointed at her head.

Garrus laughed.

"No, seriously, I asked about that."

"I bet you did."

She motioned over to her couch and they sat down, not letting go of each other's hands. She smiled at him, "It's weird, for me it's only been a few weeks since I saw you. I wasn't sure how much you'd changed in the last two years. If you'd feel the same way about me, or not."

He scooted closer to her, "Your memory was the driving force for my life after you were gone. I left the Spectres, changed my identity, and tried to honor you by fighting criminals on Omega. My love for you became a part of my DNA, and now you're back, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life making you happy."

She blinked at him. "I –" she was speechless.

"Marry me Jane."

Her eyes widened in shock, "What? You just got out of surgery, I mean, are you sure, are you thinking clearly?"

He looked at her intently, "You are the love of my life, and I have the miracle of having you back. I never want to let you go, I don't want another day to go by that we're not together. I'm not making the mistake again of thinking time is a guarantee. If you aren't ready, that's okay, I'm letting you know how I feel. I'm being honest with you. And no, this isn't after-effects of anesthesia." He gave her a crooked grin.

"Oh, hell, yes. Yes I'll marry you." She threw her arms around his neck and laughed, peppering him with kisses. He kissed her back, and it became passionate, deep.

"Ow," Shepard pulled back.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

"No," she held up her hand and looked at her fingers, "Your armor, it's shredded from that missile blast." She looked at him and frowned, "We need to replace it, and some clothes for you too." She sat back on the couch. "We're still docked at Omega. Think I can get you some here?"

"Yeah, we can go out and do that." He absently stroked her shoulder.

She shook her head no, "You're still recuperating. You can trust me to get you some great stuff."

He sighed, "Okay." He smiled at her. The ordinariness of their conversation was comforting.

She grinned at him. "You can get settled in here with me, then. Let's get something to eat, and then I'll go out and get some new armor so you can go out with me on the next mission. Sound like a plan?"

"Yes, my dear." He reached out for her hand.

Later in the mess hall, they talked more, going over recent events, even some preliminary wedding plans. Garrus was surprised to see her able to eat dextro food, a change since her Cerberus rebuild. She found out he had an apartment on Omega, and wanted to go by and pick up his things for him.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Jane. It could be dangerous."

She shot him a look, and he realized that as much as he wanted to put her in a bubble and protect her the rest of her life, he would drive her away if he smothered her with his love. He sighed, "Could you take one of the crew with you?"

"Yes. I'll have them keep lookout."

He looked up as Joker came in and greeted them, "Hey Garrus! Glad to see you buddy!" he walked up and grabbed his hand, shaking it vigorously. "You okay? You were in medbay since yesterday." He eyed the bandages on the side of his face.

"Yea, Dr. Chakwas fixed me up good. She's amazing."

"True, true." He turned his attention to Shepard, "You ready to set a course?"

She shook her head, "I have some business here on Omega. Shouldn't take too long, though. We'll probably head out tomorrow."

He adjusted his cap. "Aye, aye, Commander. I tell you what, Garrus, I'm glad you're here. The artillery systems are so out of wack, it's a mess."

Garrus laughed, "Missed me, did you?"

"Yup." He pointed to the back past the kitchen. "Armory bay is back there. You can probably set a cot up there too. I know the bunks in the human quarters are too small for you."

Garrus said, "I've already got sleeping arrangements made, but thanks. And I'll take a look at those guns. My calibration skills are a little rusty, but I'm sure I can lend a hand."

Joker noticed suddenly how closely they were sitting together, that Shepard was in the crook of Garrus' arm, her hand on his leg. He looked between the two and saw a slight blush on Shepard's cheek. It dawned on him, and a large grin spread over his face. He got up, "Good to have you back, man."

Shepard made short time of getting some expensive armor for Garrus, having it sent to the ship. She took Jacob with her to Garrus' apartment. It was in a seedy part of town, he'd warned her, and he was right. They walked through the winding streets, keeping their weapons in their hands at times to keep any ideas out of the criminals' minds roaming the streets. These were more small time, vorcha, petty thieves. They knew better then to start something with Cerberus operatives. She looked at her omni-tool and squinted up at a three story building, more of a flop house.

"This is it," she said. They went up to the third floor, and Jacob stood outside the door while she put the code in. The door unlocked and she turned to him, "In and out, we've got to make sure not to attract too much attention."

Jacob nodded and stood fast outside the door. Shepard walked in and stood for a moment, taking in the scene. It looked like no one had found out he was there, nothing was disturbed. She smiled, he had always been so neat and orderly. She turned and found his closet and started looking through his clothes. She pulled out some things, knowing she didn't have much time to take everything with her. Something caught her eye, and she reached in the back of the closet and pushed aside a coat to find his Spectre cadet uniform.

She gasped, a flood of memories coming back to her the last day she'd seen him. She felt the wool collar, rubbing it between her fingers. He'd kept it all this time. She was tempted to take it with her, but knew she didn't have much room in her duffle bag. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to finish stuffing his clothes in the bag and close the door. She turned and looked more closely at his spartan quarters. The business building across his window blinked different colored lights into the room. She felt the weight of his grief and struggle over the past two years weigh down on her. She sat on the edge of his bed and looked around. Gathering her thoughts, she looked underneath and got his boots out and put them in the bag. Zipping it up, she flung it over her shoulder and stopped short in her tracks as she saw the wall by the door. Pictures of her, her and Garrus together were on the wall. She walked slowly over and picked one up, brushing some of the dust off it. She recognized it, it was the one of them together when she visited him on the Citadel, a picture of their first official date, he'd told her then.

"Damn." She put herself in his shoes, living two years thinking she was dead. She looked around the apartment again, thinking about how he'd suffered. She could feel tears welling up, and cleared her throat, refocusing on the task at hand. She grabbed the rest of the photos quickly and stuffed them in the bag, closing it and opening the door. She nodded at Jacob and they quickly exited the building.


	10. Chapter 10

Back on the Normandy, she quickly made her way up to her quarters. Garrus wasn't there. She dropped the duffle bag, opening it and taking the photos out and placing them on her desk.

"EDI, where is Garrus?"

" _Officer Vakarian is in the main battery_."

She smiled to herself, figured he'd be at work right away. She made her way down, sending a message to Joker to leave Omega for the prison ship to take care of the next dossier. She was under no delusions that the mission wasn't number one priority. They'd spent enough time on Omega.

The doors opened and Garrus turned from the console to face her. "Shepard! Just trying to calibrate these guns. Joker was right, they are in dire need of my assistance."

As the doors closed behind her, she reached out for him, wrapping her arms around his waist, "I think I'm in dire need of your assistance."

"Oh yeah?" he looked at her, concerned.

She looked up at him and smiled, "Well, I mean later tonight, you know."

He chuckled, "I'm a bit rusty on all that research I did, but I think I remember some of it."

"I'll have a quick talk with Dr. Chakwas to clarify some things. I don't know how much things have changed since my Cerberus rebuild."

He nodded and gave her a quick squeeze and then let go. "You found my apartment okay?"

She leaned against his console, "Yea. Good hiding place in that shit hole."

"That's what I thought. Oh – the shipment of the armor is in cargo bay. I haven't been able to bring it up yet, but the packing list came through. That's some really nice armor, top of the line."

"I wouldn't have gotten you anything else," she hesitated. "Your apartment, I found your old Spectre uniform."

He looked down, "I just couldn't get rid of it. I knew how proud you had been, how much you liked seeing me in it."

She nodded and cleared her throat, "I saw the pictures you had, too. I did bring those back."

He looked up at her, "I'm glad. Those got me through some really tough times."

She shook her head, "I feel so guilty, Garrus. You went through so much-" she started to cry.

He pulled her towards him, "You can't think that way. Yes, it was horrible, but only because I loved you so much. It wasn't your fault." He leaned back and held her face in her hands to look at her, "It wasn't your fault, Jane. I'm not mad at you, you're not responsible in any way. You're only responsible in clawing your way back. I know you tried to find me when you regained consciousness. Jacob told me the first thing you asked was where I was, and ordered them to find me. Who could have done more? The past is gone, don't live there. You are a miracle, I have you back. Nothing else matters." He leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers. She gasped and closed her eyes as the tears rolled down her face.

"I forgot how that felt," she whispered.

"Spirits, so did I," Garrus said.

She wiped tears off her face and took a deep breath. "Okay, no more tears, I promise."

He stroked the side of her arms, "Good. Now, have you had something to eat?"

She had forgotten how much he doted over her, "Next thing you'll be asking me if I've been doing my shoulder exercises."

"Well, have you?"

She shook her head no.

"Then we'll have to change that, because you need to be in top condition."

"Yes, Garrus." She smiled lovingly at him. She turned to go to the door, "I'm going to see Dr. Chakwas."

"Good idea," he smiled over his shoulder at her, then returned his attention to his console, "Let me know when you want to meet in mess hall to eat."

"Okay," she called back and walked briskly over to medbay.

Later that night, Shepard walked out of Miranda's office after the debrief for the mission to the prison ship Purgatory the next day. She brought up her omni-tool to message Garrus.

"I'm finished, where are you at?"

" _I'm up in our room_."

She picked up her pace, "On my way."

As the door opened to her quarters, she was greeted at the door by Garrus, holding a drink out for her. "Found some good stuff in the cabinet."

"I made sure to re-stock it when I got on board." She took a sip, "Mmm, good. What do you think?"

"Delicious. It's amazing how you can eat dextro now."

She walked down the stairs to her couch, "That's not the only benefit. I talked to Dr. Chakwas, and Mordin earlier,"

"Mordin?"

"Yes, he's a salarian professor who joined the crew last week. It was a bit embarrassing, but worth it, because he gave me some lotion to use so your skin doesn't chafe me."

He raised his eyebrow plate, "Oh, really?"

"Um-hm. And I don't have to wear protection, either, since my body chemistry is different now."

"Glad to hear it. That means we can really feel each other, then."

She felt a shiver up her spine, "Yup."

He sat next to her and took the glass out of her hand, "I've been waiting over two years for this," he put his hand on her shoulder as she leaned in put her hand behind his neck, kissing him. He felt the room spinning around him as he felt her soft lips against his. He had held onto the memory of her taste for so long, and now he had her again. The thought of finally consummating their relationship was overwhelming his senses. He brought her closer to him and snaked his tongue in her mouth.

"Mmm," she groaned and worked her fingers into the back of his fringe, kneading them.

"Damn Jane, that feels good."

She smiled, "I remember my research. Come on," she stood up and reached down for his hands. She guided him over to the bed and sat down, unlacing her boots.

Garrus quickly got his casuals off and helped her off with her shirt. He was perplexed with her bra, but she reached back and unhooked it, throwing it on the floor. He reached his finger into her panties and pulled lightly on the elastic band around her abdomen. She let out a light gasp and leaned her head back. He moved his fingers in further and pulled the underwear down to the floor. She kicked it off, and he knelt down and reached up for her hips, "Let's see what we have here," he said, lightly brushing his finger over her dark curls. She held onto his shoulders as she felt his hot breath on her.

"Oh my god," she murmured.

He moved his finger around, using his other hand to spread her apart slightly. She looked down at him, then threw her head back, taking in a sharp breath as he leaned in and lightly licked between her folds. She put one hand up over her eyes, "Holy fuck, I think I'm going to pass out."

Encouraged, he continued to move his tongue slowly around, intoxicated by her taste, the softness of her skin. She dug her fingers into his carapace, eliciting a growl from him. He pulled back and kissed his way back up her body, standing in front of her.

"You are so beautiful."

She felt herself relax, she wasn't sure what he would think when he saw her naked. Humans were different, and she also had implants, scars. She turned and scampered on the bed, reaching up for him, "Come here."

He crawled on the bed, laying on top of her. He wanted to go slow, but his lust for her, his need had a vice grip on his mind, and he had to satisfy it. She spread her legs apart and pulled him towards her, her breathing quickening.

He positioned himself with the head of his penis, now emerged from the protective plates, at her opening.

She rubbed lightly on the tip, "Can you feel the wetness?" she asked huskily.

"Spirits, yes," he croaked out.

"Ungh," she started pushing herself down on him, a little at a time. He was actually attempting to hold her back. "What, what is it?" she asked him, frustrated.

"I'm trying not to hurt you, you're tight."

"Okay, okay," she gasped, and pistoned herself back and forth, taking him in a little bit more with each push. He held himself up over her on his elbows, holding her down in place, licking at her neck.

"Oh, oh, oh, jesus christ, fuck!" she yelled out. He had no idea humans made so much noise during sex.

"Wait, the lotion, I forgot it," she pushed his chest.

"Right, where is it?" he asked blearily but she had taken it out of the drawer already and started applying it generously to her inner thighs.

"I want to make sure I don't get rubbed raw." She put the cap on and threw it on the floor, laying back down, "Okay, I'm ready."

He got on top of her and this time she was more ready for him, he was able to get halfway in immediately.

"Oh, yessss, you feel so good." She started laughing, "We should have done this every night on the SR1."

He laughed, moving back and forth into her, "I agree." He started pushing deeper into her, feeling her soft, wet walls encompassing him.

"Do you have, are those ridges or something?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes, don't humans have those?"

She shook her head, "No, and it feels amazing." She arched up into him and pulled him down towards her, taking all of him in. Feeling her on his base was enthralling, and he worked his hand around her hip holding her against him.

She moved back and forth, holding onto him, feeling his leathery skin against hers, his penis spreading her apart inside. She rubbed her clit against the base of his plates, thinking she probably should have put some lotion there too, but she wasn't about to stop now. She felt the wave start, her skin tingling. "Yes, yes, yes," she was enraptured.

He felt her tighten on him, so much so he could hardly move inside her. Her eyes flew open and she threw her head back, "I'm cumming, I'm cumming, don't stop!" and he continued to move with her as he felt her pulsate on him. He couldn't speak as he felt his own release from the base, then spilling inside her. He grunted and his legs quivered underneath him as he consumed her.

She gasped, "Oh, it's hot." She felt heat inside her as he continued to cum in her. The warmth of his cum, the ridges on his penis heightened her orgasm as it continued on and on. She held onto him tightly as they continued to orgasm together, their breathing slowing down, muscles relaxing. He breathed heavily on her shoulder, letting go of his tight grip on her. She ran her fingers down his back, caressing him.

"That was amazing." She kissed his cheek. "I love you so much."

He peppered her shoulder with light kisses, "I love you too." He faced her and leaned in for a long kiss. "I think I need to pull it out."

She nodded and released her legs that were clutched behind him. He slowly pulled out and off her and lay back down on the bed beside her.

"Oh, I didn't know you had a skylight. That's cool." He said, pointing to the stars rushing by overhead.

She laughed, "I guess you were too busy to notice."

"Definitely," he said, turning towards her and reaching around to hug her. "That was not the cross-species disaster I feared."

She snorted, "Well, thank you very much."

He leaned into the crook of her neck and laughed, "What I mean to say is, that was fantastic, the best sex I've ever had, and to be so close to you, to share that with you is a dream come true."

She turned and smiled at him.

"You aren't hurt or anything, are you?"

She looked down and moved her legs to get a good look, "No, everything looks okay. I think next time I need to put some lotion here too, though." She lightly touched her clit, it was a bit sore. "Then again, it's been years, since I've had sex. I really focused on my career, I didn't think I could have both."

"Mmm, I know what you mean." He pulled up her hand and started lightly kissing her fingers. She sighed and relaxed into the feel of him next to her, thinking about how they had slept together that night on the SR1. She'd felt so complete in his arms, and now she finally had that same feeling again.

He reached down and caressed her thigh, taking little nibbles on her arm.

She giggled, "That tickles."

"Mm, does it?" he asked and continued up over her shoulder. He came up to her neck and started licking at her, lightly sucking on her.

"Garrus," she said with a warning tone, "What are you doing?"

"Continuing," he said, then resuming his kissing, reaching his hand around the front of her. He pulled back, "Unless you need to stop." He remembered what she said about it being a bit sore.

"No, I mean, I can go for some more. I just didn't think you'd be able to. You came a lot."

"Turians can orgasm multiple times, can't humans?"

"Females can, but usually the males can't."

"Oh, well, that's not the case with us. We can go two, three times, easily. But, it's up to you, what do you want to do?"

She looked at him, chiding herself for not getting with him sooner on the SR1. _Think of all the fun we could have been having._

"I want more. I want more of you," she turned to face him and kiss him, thrusting her tongue in his mouth. She thought back to what she'd read on the extranet and reached up into his fringe, lightly pulling on it as she dug her fingernails on her other hand into the grooves of his carapace. She was rewarded with his low growl and he dug his blunt talons into the cheek of her ass. He turned her over on her back forcefully and sat up over her.

"Turn over," he commanded.

She nodded and turned over on her stomach. He reached down and pulled her up so she was kneeling on all fours. "Yes, like that," he said. She could feel the trembling in his hands as he grabbed her hips, kneeling behind her. He used a knee to push her legs apart. She gasped as she felt his finger dip inside her vagina, moving around, stretching her out. She angled her ass up towards him.

"Ready?" he asked her.

She nodded furiously, unable to speak. She yelled out when he rammed inside her, grunting as he held her hips and locked her in place. He pistoned into her relentlessly and she leaned her elbows down on the bed, angling herself up towards him. She gasped with the sensation of the movement, the friction of his ridges inside her. He would move side to side slightly with every thrust so the ridges were constantly hitting new areas. He started to slow down, and she felt him get harder and lengthen inside her. Humans never felt like this, it was mind-blowing. She felt him reach his hand around the front of her and down between her folds, gently massaging her clit. She started to lift herself up on her arms, when he stopped her, "No, don't." she leaned her shoulders back on the bed and worked her feet back behind his legs. Suddenly she felt him work his finger past her clit and inside her as he was still moving his cock back and forth. She let out a little scream, not knowing if she would be able to accommodate both. He went slowly, inching it in as he continued to move his hard cock back and forth. She spread her legs apart more, adjusting the angle she had her ass up against him to help him. The feel of his finger inside her, moving it back and forth with his cock up against it, pushing his finger on her sensitive inside wall, it was bringing her to the point of ecstasy.

"Oh, I, yes, yes," she screamed, and felt her walls clamp down. He suddenly pulled his cock out, but left his finger in as she climaxed hard. He moved his hand with every thrust she made against him, every spasm. She slowed, and caught her breath as he moved his finger back and forth, then taking it out. She collapsed on the bed, then turned over to face him as he sat back on his heels, grinning at her.

"Why did you pull out?" she asked.

"Because I wanted to try something else."

She looked down and saw his penis for the first time. He held it in his hand, and she could see the ridges she'd felt, the little bumps up and down, starting small at the tip, then getting larger towards the base. She looked up at him, "What else did you have in mind?"

"I read that you can take this in your mouth. Turian females can't do that. I was thinking, maybe." He looked at her inquiringly.

"Yeah, let's do it."

He looked surprised and excited. She got off the bed and instructed him to sit on the edge of the bed straddling the corner. He leaned back with one hand and reached his other hand down to caress her hair. She leaned her elbows on his legs and grabbed the base of his penis with one hand. His hand froze as she looked up at him and licked up the side of his penis, taking the tip in her mouth, lightly sucking on it. He pulled his arm back to support him as he looked down at her, enthralled by the sight of his penis going in and out of her mouth as she alternately licked it and sucked it. She took more in her mouth, her hand working the large base.

"Spirits," he gasped, feeling her tongue moving around him. The feel of her tongue, the pull of the suction on him, the wetness on him, he couldn't hold out. She pulled off him long enough to tell him, "Do it!" and as she took him back in her mouth, he started to spasm and felt his cum shooting out. He expected her to pull back, but she held on tighter, sucking and swallowing his cum as he gave it to her. He collapsed back on the bed as she finished pulling out everything he had left. As he got softer, she became gentler, lightly kneading him and licking him softly. She finally pulled off him and grinned up at him, tilting her head to the side, "Mm, that was delicious."

He was overwhelmed with how completely and readily she'd let him ravage her. He reached down for her and pulled her back in bed. He held her close and clutched her to him. She leaned back against him, "You liked that?" she asked.

He could only nod yes as words escaped him. She smiled contentedly and pushed up against him and they went to sleep.

The next morning her omni-tool went off and turned to see Garrus smiling back at her. "Good morning, my beautiful fiancé."

"I love the sound of that," she said and snuggled into his arms. Her alarm went off again and she sat up and sighed, turning off. She sat at the edge of her bed and looked over at him, "You up for picking up a convict from a prison ship?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

-End-


End file.
